My
mother and I get into big arguments about the food she tries to
serve my children. Do I have to stay away from her house until they're
grown? The
last thing you want to do is start fights with other family members
or to keep your children away from their grandparents. We have
to realize that the nutritional guidelines have changed dramatically
since the time our parents were young. The old rules stressed
three glasses of milk every day, meat at every meal, and desserts
used as bribes for eating all those "yucky" vegetables.
In today's society,
we're becoming more and more aware of how dangerous the old eating
styles are. It's important that Grandma realize that the rules
at your home may be quite different from what she believes is
best. If she won't respect the way you're raising your children,
it won't take the grandkids long to figure out they get to eat
things at their grandparent's house that they're not allowed anywhere
else. That's not going to be helpful to anyone.
It's time to sit
down and talk to your family and tell them which foods are and
are not allowed in your house. If making cookies is important
to Grandma, explain the need for making them as healthy as possible.
You might offer some recipes for cookies which are low in fat
and sugar and high in fiber. If you are going to be at a dinner
where meat will be served and you don't want to eat it, ask if
you can bring a rice or pasta casserole for your family. That
way you can enjoy a meal together without compromising your nutritional
beliefs. Explain that frozen yogurt is preferable to ice cream
and frozen fruit desserts made without added sugar are preferable
to both. You might even buy Grandma a juicer. Introduce her to
fruit drinks. Stock her pantry with healthy snacks.
If it all seems
too strange, you should compromise a little and meet your family
half way. An occasional deviation from a healthy diet isn't going
to do any permanent harm if you explain to your children that
this kind of food normally is not allowed in your home. Don't
ever refer to Grandma's food as "treats". You don't
ever want your children to feel that sugar and fat are rewards.
What is eaten once
in a while has very little effect on your health, so don't start
a family feud over this issue. Like any family disagreement, if
you handle the discussion of food with humor and a willingness
to negotiate, you'll have tension-free get-togethers that won't
leave your children confused about who's right and who's wrong.
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